Friday, August 29, 2008

i know pizza hut, and this is no pizza hut

I lived on Pizza Hut the first couple of days I was in town.  It wasn't quite as bad of an idea as it might sound--the pizza is a bit better than it is in America, and a small only costs about $2.  But eventually I eased into Egyptian food, and I never really looked back at old Pizza Hut.  Until I felt a craving a few days ago.  I walked in, ordered my food, and sat down to wait.  And then the music started.  Loud blaring eurotrash techno.  The bass was pounding my brain hard enough that I couldn't hear myself think, let alone talk to the guy next to me.  And then Barney the dinosaur came waltzing up the stairs.  That green dinosaur followed closely behind, and right behind it came the yellow one.  They started hopping (or maybe it was dancing?) around the restaurant, and a room full of children shrieked in either joy or terror (it was very hard to tell).  This continued the entire time I was there.  Having a poorly put-together green dinosaur gyrating right in front of your face to an electro remix of Hips Don't Lie doesn't really do much to stir the appetite.

I was ready to write this all off as a bad dream until I felt another Pizza Hut craving today.  I walked in to see a bright red something-or-other spinning around on a table while an Egyptian rip-off of Bust a Move made the entire room rattle.  When a pink pig with a rainbow vest and child molester eyes walked up the stairs, I wanted very badly to leave.

2 comments:

lysdecoeur said...

this is seriously distressing. are all pizza huts in egypt like this? are pizza huts in america like this? I´m so very confused because the (albeit few) pizza huts I was in as a kid didn´t resemble freaky discotheques...

um. today I sniffed something delicious in chinatown and for the rest of the day everything´s been a little woozy. I´m just using this story as a not-very-subtle question that maybe there wasn´t a vested pig, that maybe it was the pizza-hut fumes?

Tommy said...

I don't remember Pizza Hut ever being a furry disco before, but I guess it has been a few years since I last visited...

But if the fumes can make that damned pig appear, shouldn't eating the food lead to a full-blown no-return acid trip?